Teen Girls in the New South Africa

June 27, 2006

Tomorrow, I'm doing a presentation in Zulu on the two teenage girls I lived with last week. They're pictured here, getting ready for church. I'm including the presentation here in both English and the Zulu translation. The Zulu translation is not complete--I left out the part about the cell phones.


TWO TEENAGE GIRLS IN SOUTH AFRICA--ENGLISH VERSION
I really like teenagers so I decided to do my presentation on the two fourteen-year-old cousins who live together in my Imbali family, the Nene family.

When I first arrived, the two girls were busy in the kitchen, making dinner. Throughout the next two days, I was impressed because it seemed like every time I saw them, they were doing work of some sort—sweeping the floor, making food, helping uGogo. In talking to other students, I found out that they were similarly impressed by the teenage women in their houses. So I decided to find out what daily life was like for teenage women in Imbali, whether these young women were really as responsible as they seemed or if there was more going on under the surface. I also was curious what they thought about men, and what their thoughts were on the noticeable absence of men in the community.

NomKhosi is fourteen years old. She has lived with her aunt’s family since Kresh, nursery school. She says she lived with her mom when she was little but her mother brought her here to live when she went back to school. She visits her mom on the weekends. Her father is with another woman and has two other children. uZinzile is thirteen, almost fourteen. She lives with her mother and grandmother, although her mother, Elizabeth, is only home on the weekends. During the week, uMama uhlala e-Msinga, where she works.

Nomkhosi: “I hate growing up sometimes. The changes in my body—periods, I really hated. I just started last year. It is not always regular. This month, I was really surprised.”

uZinzile: “Sometimes I think I might be pregnant but how can I get pregnant when I don’t do anything wrong?”

I pressed them on this issue and asked them about “boys.” They both started to giggle and blush and then they started to tell me about the parties they go to where they are VIPs—nomKhosi said, “It’s nice to be pretty,”—and their boyfriends, who are much older than they are but have “stacks of money,” according to nomKhosi, “but it’s not about the money.” The parties they go to are with lots of their friends, but a lot of older people—especially older men. Both of them have “boyfriends” who are twenty years or more older than them.

This is consistent with the epidemiology of HIV in Africa—older men with younger women, often twenty or more years younger than them. The girls call these men “sugar daddies.”

“There’s these guys worrying us all the time,” says NomKhosi. “They’re very irritating. And they don’t ever give up.”

Neither one of them wants to get pregnant right now. “If I got pregnant now,” says NomKhosi, “my whole future is stopping.” They claim that none of their friends are pregnant but they know girls their age who are pregnant.

They both say growing up is stressful. They have homework and exams and they’re helping out Grammy. Life for boys is easier, they say. “We have to be inside the house and they can come back at eleven at night and they don’t get in as much trouble. I guess it’s because our parents are worried about us,” says Khosi.
But Zi chimes in. “It’s because they don’t trust us.”

As an example, they talk about cell phones. They both want cell phones badly because their boyfriends can’t call them at the house. Their parents do not know about the boyfriends. Their parents tell them that friends can call them at the house, so why do they need cell phones? Cell phones are for secrets.

But Zi says they get in trouble when friends who happen to be boys call them at the house. “So you do what they say and you still get in trouble.”

Zi says if she had a cell phone, she’d learn a new language and write everything in the new language so her parents could not read the messages she sends.

They feel their parents are way too strict and do not let them do enough. They spend a lot of time in the house. Khosi says, “You mustn’t always be good—but that’s bad because then when you’re bad you’re really bad.”

IZINTOMBI ZAKWANENE

Ngithanda abantu abasha. Ngakho ngafuna ukwenza i-project yami ngabantu abasha. Ngakhuluma nezintombi zakwaNene, izintombi zomndeni wami Imbali. Izintombi ezimbili uNomkhosi noZinzile baneminyaka engu-14.

Uma ngafika izintombi zasebenza kakhulu. Zageza izitsha, zawasha izingubo, zashanela phansi, zapheka ukudla. Njalo ngazibona zisebenza. Izinsuku ezimbili zasebenza. Abafundi abanye bathi izintombi zemindeni yabo nazo zasebenza kakhulu. Sabuza, “Amadoda namabhungu ayephi?” Ngazibuza imibuzo inzintombi ngelanga lesithathu. Saya ekamelweni lami ngazibuza ngezimpilo zabo. Bafunisisa ukukhuluma ngamadoda kakhulu.

uNomkhosi wahlala nomdeni ka-anti kusukela efunda enkulisa. Phambili kwalokho wahlala nomama kodwa umama wakhe wabuyela esikoleni bese uNomkhosi wafika ekhaya ka-anti. Uvakashela umama ngempelisonto. Ubaba wakhe unenkosikazi futhi izingane ezimbili. uZinzile uhlala nomama nogogo nodadewabo noNomkhosi. Umama wakhe, uElizabeth, usebenza kude ekhaya eMsinga futhi umvakashela ngempelisonto.

uNomkhosi wathi, “Ngizonda ukukhula. Ngizonda kakhulu ukushintsha komzimba. Ngakuqala ngonyaka odlule kodwa akubuyi njalo bese ngikhathazekile.”

uZinzile wathi, “Ngicabanga ukuthi ngikhulelwe kodwa ngingakhulelwa kanjani uma angilenzi icala?”

Ngazibuza zakhuluma kakhulu. uNomkhosi noZinzile banamadoda amadala. Amadoda la anemali kakhulu kodwa Khosi wathi, “Asiwathandi amadoda ngoba enemali.” Ngobani? Abayazi imphendulo. Izintombi eziningi zinamadoda amadala nemali. Bawabiza “sugar daddies.” Kodwa uNomkhosi noZinzile abakhulumi nomama no-anti nogogo nobaba ngamadoda noma nge-HIV noma ngokukhulelwa. Bathi izintombi eziningi azingakhulumi ngamadoda nobaba. Abafunanga ukukhuluma nge-HIV kodwa bayazi ngokukhulelwa. Banabangane abakhulelwe. uNomkhosi noZinzile abafuni ukukhulelwa manje. “Uma nginegane manje,” kwasho uNomkhosi, “impilo yami ingama.”