Teen Girls in the New South Africa

June 27, 2006

Tomorrow, I'm doing a presentation in Zulu on the two teenage girls I lived with last week. They're pictured here, getting ready for church. I'm including the presentation here in both English and the Zulu translation. The Zulu translation is not complete--I left out the part about the cell phones.


TWO TEENAGE GIRLS IN SOUTH AFRICA--ENGLISH VERSION
I really like teenagers so I decided to do my presentation on the two fourteen-year-old cousins who live together in my Imbali family, the Nene family.

When I first arrived, the two girls were busy in the kitchen, making dinner. Throughout the next two days, I was impressed because it seemed like every time I saw them, they were doing work of some sort—sweeping the floor, making food, helping uGogo. In talking to other students, I found out that they were similarly impressed by the teenage women in their houses. So I decided to find out what daily life was like for teenage women in Imbali, whether these young women were really as responsible as they seemed or if there was more going on under the surface. I also was curious what they thought about men, and what their thoughts were on the noticeable absence of men in the community.

NomKhosi is fourteen years old. She has lived with her aunt’s family since Kresh, nursery school. She says she lived with her mom when she was little but her mother brought her here to live when she went back to school. She visits her mom on the weekends. Her father is with another woman and has two other children. uZinzile is thirteen, almost fourteen. She lives with her mother and grandmother, although her mother, Elizabeth, is only home on the weekends. During the week, uMama uhlala e-Msinga, where she works.

Nomkhosi: “I hate growing up sometimes. The changes in my body—periods, I really hated. I just started last year. It is not always regular. This month, I was really surprised.”

uZinzile: “Sometimes I think I might be pregnant but how can I get pregnant when I don’t do anything wrong?”

I pressed them on this issue and asked them about “boys.” They both started to giggle and blush and then they started to tell me about the parties they go to where they are VIPs—nomKhosi said, “It’s nice to be pretty,”—and their boyfriends, who are much older than they are but have “stacks of money,” according to nomKhosi, “but it’s not about the money.” The parties they go to are with lots of their friends, but a lot of older people—especially older men. Both of them have “boyfriends” who are twenty years or more older than them.

This is consistent with the epidemiology of HIV in Africa—older men with younger women, often twenty or more years younger than them. The girls call these men “sugar daddies.”

“There’s these guys worrying us all the time,” says NomKhosi. “They’re very irritating. And they don’t ever give up.”

Neither one of them wants to get pregnant right now. “If I got pregnant now,” says NomKhosi, “my whole future is stopping.” They claim that none of their friends are pregnant but they know girls their age who are pregnant.

They both say growing up is stressful. They have homework and exams and they’re helping out Grammy. Life for boys is easier, they say. “We have to be inside the house and they can come back at eleven at night and they don’t get in as much trouble. I guess it’s because our parents are worried about us,” says Khosi.
But Zi chimes in. “It’s because they don’t trust us.”

As an example, they talk about cell phones. They both want cell phones badly because their boyfriends can’t call them at the house. Their parents do not know about the boyfriends. Their parents tell them that friends can call them at the house, so why do they need cell phones? Cell phones are for secrets.

But Zi says they get in trouble when friends who happen to be boys call them at the house. “So you do what they say and you still get in trouble.”

Zi says if she had a cell phone, she’d learn a new language and write everything in the new language so her parents could not read the messages she sends.

They feel their parents are way too strict and do not let them do enough. They spend a lot of time in the house. Khosi says, “You mustn’t always be good—but that’s bad because then when you’re bad you’re really bad.”

IZINTOMBI ZAKWANENE

Ngithanda abantu abasha. Ngakho ngafuna ukwenza i-project yami ngabantu abasha. Ngakhuluma nezintombi zakwaNene, izintombi zomndeni wami Imbali. Izintombi ezimbili uNomkhosi noZinzile baneminyaka engu-14.

Uma ngafika izintombi zasebenza kakhulu. Zageza izitsha, zawasha izingubo, zashanela phansi, zapheka ukudla. Njalo ngazibona zisebenza. Izinsuku ezimbili zasebenza. Abafundi abanye bathi izintombi zemindeni yabo nazo zasebenza kakhulu. Sabuza, “Amadoda namabhungu ayephi?” Ngazibuza imibuzo inzintombi ngelanga lesithathu. Saya ekamelweni lami ngazibuza ngezimpilo zabo. Bafunisisa ukukhuluma ngamadoda kakhulu.

uNomkhosi wahlala nomdeni ka-anti kusukela efunda enkulisa. Phambili kwalokho wahlala nomama kodwa umama wakhe wabuyela esikoleni bese uNomkhosi wafika ekhaya ka-anti. Uvakashela umama ngempelisonto. Ubaba wakhe unenkosikazi futhi izingane ezimbili. uZinzile uhlala nomama nogogo nodadewabo noNomkhosi. Umama wakhe, uElizabeth, usebenza kude ekhaya eMsinga futhi umvakashela ngempelisonto.

uNomkhosi wathi, “Ngizonda ukukhula. Ngizonda kakhulu ukushintsha komzimba. Ngakuqala ngonyaka odlule kodwa akubuyi njalo bese ngikhathazekile.”

uZinzile wathi, “Ngicabanga ukuthi ngikhulelwe kodwa ngingakhulelwa kanjani uma angilenzi icala?”

Ngazibuza zakhuluma kakhulu. uNomkhosi noZinzile banamadoda amadala. Amadoda la anemali kakhulu kodwa Khosi wathi, “Asiwathandi amadoda ngoba enemali.” Ngobani? Abayazi imphendulo. Izintombi eziningi zinamadoda amadala nemali. Bawabiza “sugar daddies.” Kodwa uNomkhosi noZinzile abakhulumi nomama no-anti nogogo nobaba ngamadoda noma nge-HIV noma ngokukhulelwa. Bathi izintombi eziningi azingakhulumi ngamadoda nobaba. Abafunanga ukukhuluma nge-HIV kodwa bayazi ngokukhulelwa. Banabangane abakhulelwe. uNomkhosi noZinzile abafuni ukukhulelwa manje. “Uma nginegane manje,” kwasho uNomkhosi, “impilo yami ingama.”

Second Try Birthday Picture

June 23, 2006

Here's the picture that didn't post earlier. Hope this time it goes through. For those of you who notice, the cake is chocolate. But fortunately, they had a non-chocolate cake as well.

Another birthday picture

Birthday In South Africa

Friday, June 23

I'm here in South Africa for ten weeks, learning Zulu and doing research on 19th century Zulu history.

I spent my 32nd birthday in a township named Imbali in South Africa, trying to learn Zulu. For the entire week, I lived with my Zulu family--a family of women, pictured here. Families headed by women, or consisting mostly of women, is quite common in South Africa. Most of the other students were similarly struck by the lack of men in or around the township or in their families.

The four girls you see in the picture on the right--my sisters (odadewethu)-- woke me up at 6:30 by singing Happy Birthday in Zulu. I took this picture on Friday evening, just before most of us went to a braai (a barbecue) for all the Zulu students and their host families. There, around 80 Africans and American students gathered in the living room and sang happy birthday to me in English, isiZulu, and amaXhosa.

My Zulu mama--uElizabeth wakwaNene, pictured on the left--works in a town far from her home. She is gone Monday through Friday, so the four girls (two daughters and two nieces) stay with uGogo (Grandmother). I was amazed at how responsible the two oldest girls were and how much work they had. Gogo is old and like many women her age (72) spends a lot of her time in bed, especially in the winter, when it is cold. (In these unheated houses and buildings, it is very cold!!!!). Gogo is a lovely lady and we had a lot of funny moments--like the time I gave her a piece of candy and she accidentally chewed it with the paper on, not realizing it had paper on it. She finally spat it out, mumbling that it had no taste, and the girls (udadewethu, my sisters) just laughed and laughed and laughed.

My friend Bukhosi (who Matt introduced me to) gave me my Zulu name, which is uBuhle. It means Beauty or Goodness. Names are given to signify what parents (or in this case, friends) hope for the person. My family called me noBuhle, which actually means Queen of Beauty. They called me this because I usually introduced myself as "igama lami nguJessica kodwa igama eliZulu nguBuhle", which, when shortened, becomes uJessica noBuhle (Jessica and Buhle). But noBuhle has a special meaning as well.

My teachers call me Buhle as well.

Thanks, Bukhosi! I'm enjoying my name.